Moving Towards a Positive Path in 2021
I love this photograph of little mama because I think it perfectly represents the year of 2020. To set the scene, we were at China Beach in San Francisco. To get there, you park on the edge of the cliff and hike down to a small beach. Surrounding the beach is Land’s End, the point of the Peninsula that juts out to the intersection of the Pacific Ocean and San Francisco Bay. Standing on the beach and looking across the bay, you can see the dramatic peaks of the Marin Headlands. To the right of us, the engineering genius of the Golden Gate Bridge and downtown San Francisco. As our amazing photographer (Ashley Kaplan Photography) was capturing our family amongst all of this natural beauty, there was a moment towards the end of the session where Little Mama was balancing along the edge of the wall and behind her was a graffiti of Black Lives Matter. I jokingly commented to the photographer “that is so 2020” and she clicked her camera. When I received the photographs in our gallery, I was in awe of the piece of art and representation she created with that single snap.
Little Mama is balancing on the precipice and looking ahead. She looks so small underneath the enormity of the mural. To me, that is exactly how 2020 felt. We all felt so small under the enormity of the pandemic, social unrest, our country’s reckoning with race relations, the election— all of it. This year was so heavy and out of our control, but we kept moving forward while all of these macro events jolted and forever changed our sense of normalcy. What is particularly moving about this photograph is that as Little Mama balances on the edge and moves forward, it looks as if 2020 is behind her. She’s moved passed it and continuing into the future.
2020 was a once in a century type of event and these events shape us— sometimes without us even realizing it. This collective trauma we endured will leave an indelible mark and will likely have an effect on the decisions we make and what we value in our lives moving forward. With only a few more nights until we bid our final adieu to 2020 and put this year behind us, it is important to reflect on this historic moment in time. What did we learn, what can we improve on, and how can we be prepared for the future?
As I reflected on this past year, I thought a lot about two people. I thought about hubby’s maternal grandmother who I will lovingly refer to as G-Money and my maternal grandmother, who I will refer to as Mrs. D. Both of these women experienced once-in-a-century events and thinking back on their lives has made me realize how those events shaped and changed them. I also thought about how the lessons they learned and values they passed down allowed us to successfully endure 2020.
For example, G-Money grew up on a dairy farm in Central Ohio, about an hour north of Columbus. When the Depression came, it hit hard. Even though her family grew their own crops and milked their own cows, they had to sell most of it to be able to pay the bills. As a result, in her adult life, G-Money valued being self-sustainable and ensuring she was in a situation where she would never be short of food. She tirelessly canned and preserved her own food, always made sure she had a thriving garden, and was very frugal. G-money often referred to this as her “depression education” and I never fully understood what that meant until now.
The other example I think about is my grandmother who passed away in July. Mrs. D was born in Oregon to Japanese immigrant parents. During World War II, when she was 14 years old, she, along with her four siblings and parents were taken from their own home and forcefully relocated to an internment camp in the middle of nowhere in Idaho. They were allowed only one suitcase of their belongings and had to leave their home, dog, and everything they had ever known behind. After everything was taken from them, they relied on their skills, experience, and education to survive in the internment camp. This trauma instilled in Mrs. D the value of education. I always remember her saying, “no matter what happens, they can never take away your education.”
As I reflect on 2020, there is so much I don’t know and don’t understand. However, I believe in large measure the lessons our grandmothers learned and in turn instilled in us- the values of hard work and education allowed us to be in professions that persevered in this incredible time of uncertainty. There are other values I wish we would have taken more seriously, but certainly will as we move into 2021. So, instead of setting goals for the new year, I want to focus on identifying important bedrock values and put them into practice so that no matter what happens, we will have the foundation to succeed and protect our family.
In order to identify those bedrock values, it is crucial to evaluate where we failed or flourished during this unprecedented era in our modern history. If you were “OK” this year, ask yourself why? What decisions and foundation did you have to be able to thrive in this environment? What skill set did you have that allowed you to persevere?
If you were not “OK” and found yourself in a moment of transition, why was that? What can you do to adapt and be resilient (as they now call the “pandemic pivot”) and what plan can you put into place now so you can be prepared as we make the profound transition back to normalcy?
As you reflect on these questions, the answers will reveal your own bedrock values that already existed and will highlight areas that need to be developed more this coming year. Then, comes the next question. As we move towards the new normal, how can we implement this value system to ensure that you are set up for success no matter what the world throws at you?
As I mentioned above, there are some bedrock values held by our maternal grandmothers based on their experiences in the Depression and WW2 that I wish we would have taken more seriously before the pandemic. First and foremost: Frugality and Finance. I never understood what they were saving their money for and now I know— in case of emergency. The year 2020 has reminded us that we need to be more intentional in creating a valuable diverse portfolio. I also realized very quickly that we need to be serious and mindful of our budget. Now, after not leaving the house much- the clothes, shoes, purses- all of these materialistic things have no real value. What I should have been focused on was saving, paying down debt, and making smarter investments. Luckily, we both were able to keep working, but the thought of it being taken away so quickly has made me re-evaluate what is truly valuable. In the end, a closet full of clothes is not going to save you.
The second value exhibited by our grandmothers was the concept of self-sufficiency and sustainability. We definitely will be implementing this value into our every day lives. Not only do we need to learn to be more self-sufficient, but also more sustainable. If the food ran out at the grocery store, we know G-Money would have been fine because she grew her own food and had a basement full of canned food. Now, I am not saying we need to go full on Doomsday Prepper mode and hoard or preserve all of our veggies, but we definitely are going to focus on learning how to garden and grow our own food. It is embarrassing that I don’t even know how to plant a vegetable, but that is changing in 2021. Plus, it is a great activity with the kids and a fun hobby!
Lastly, this year reminded us of the importance of having a plan and remaining steadfast with our purpose. Because we went through the process of setting goals and creating a timeline last year, we were able to stick to the plan and were not thrown off course by the huge events outside of our control. To use a nautical analogy (reminds me of Wedding Crashers) we were able to lean on those goals as an anchor as we progressed throughout the year. I highly encourage you to take the time to evaluate your goals, identify your bedrock values, make a plan, and chart your course, so that you don’t get lost when the storm hits. I hope that you take the time to reflect and that this exercise will be helpful to you.
This year was hard, it was stressful, and it was intense, but we did it! This year gifted us the time to reevaluate what is truly valuable and essential when everything else is stripped away. 2020 has forced us to find perspective and reminded us of Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs. Remember, if nothing else, 2020 has proved if you create and stay on your positive path, there is nothing that will stop you. No pandemic, no riot, no shut down. You will be able to proceed and succeed and continue to prosper and grow.
My hope is that things will not just “go back to normal,” but that we will all be stronger, better, and prosperous as we move forward on a positive path into 2021.
I wish you all a very safe, healthy, and happy New Year!!
-Lindsey
